There are so many holidays in the world. Today, for example, is World Toilet Day. By the way, this day was establish by the resolution of the UN General Assembly No. A / RES / 67/291 in 2013. For reference, the first public toilets appeared in ancient Rome. These were large rooms in which the seats were arranged in a circle, and during their use, philosophical conversations were conducted, trade deals were made, and business was discussed. Noble visitors had their marble seats, which the slaves heated with their gluteal muscles (how!).
Best status for Toilet day
What can you say here? As you know, there are no toilets in the fleet – there are latrines. And the theme of toilets in the navy seems to be endless, as is the theme of “shila” (alcohol). “But we got an unpleasant nuance here, connected again with latrines,” wrote Viktor Konetsky in his book “Travel portraits with a seascape”. – Well, what can you do, you have to tell everything about latrine and about latrine! About sunrises and sunsets – little, but about latrines – almost on every page! “
And Viktor Viktorovich was right. And the theme of latrines can be found not only among the classic marine painters. As the submariner Alexander Pokrovsky wrote (in my opinion, in the book “72 meters”), “only the deceased does not piss in the washstand,” however, attributing this phrase for some reason to the submariners. Let me explain it for civilian readers. When the ship is dock, for example, for painting, the latrines are close, the water is turn off, etc. Well, so that the body is dry (taps from the latrine and water supply pipes go to the body) and paint can be safely apply to it.
Toilet day history
Imagine this situation. You and your friends are having supper in the cabin, as they say, drinking “awl” on the sly, but there is nowhere to pour. Because it’s minus thirty overboard, ten to fifteen meters down the woods to the dock latrine, then a hundred meters to the edge of the dock, and then another fifteen or twenty meters up. And the washstand, thank you, Lord, is nearby, in the cabin. Of course, the foreman will come running in the morning and start yelling that the board is litter with streams of frozen urine. But it will be in the morning.
May the squeamish reader forgive me, but life is life, so nature, as they say, takes its toll.
Toilet Day Facts
In fact, in the navy they go to the latrine according to the instructions. There is a separate story about this. Captain 1st Rank Yuri Nikolaevich Baryshev – Chief of Logistics of the Riga Naval Garrison, conducts debriefing. Evil as a thousand devils. Because a commission arrived from the headquarters of the fleet, and for some reason some of the logisticians had the instruction wrongly written there. Baryshev walks in front of the formation in front of the rear officers. And teaches them to write instructions:
– I don’t fucking understand what the problem is? What the hell are the difficulties? It’s elementary. Even instructions on how an officer should go to push can be made up in five minutes.
In the ranks of a nervous laugh.
– In five minutes everyone will get together in the study room, have secret notebooks and pens with them.
Office story of Toilet Day
Five minutes later in the office:
– I’ll teach you how to shit correctly! So, everyone, write it down. Point one. At the first urge, the officer must find out in which direction the latrine is, and follow the shortest course to it. Second point. Having entered the latrine, the officer must check the presence of pipifax, that is, the newspaper “Guard of the Baltic” in the box next to the daughter. Third point. Before assuming the pose of an eagle, an officer must do everything, if he is armed, so as not to drown the pistol in shit. Point four. Having got rid of shit, the officer takes the newspaper “Guard of the Baltic” with his right hand and carefully crumples it. At the same time, he gets up in the pose of a sprinter who broke from the start and …
Baryshev dictated the instructions to us for at least half an hour. He never stumbled. We recorded in good faith.
By the way, the noble naval latrine is not a despicable land toilet for you. This was also noticed by Valentin Pikul in “Moonzund”. I personally have always treated the latrine with respect. Maybe because in the senior courses of the naval “system” (being already a midshipman) he was responsible for tidying up in the latrine.
By the way, it was a real sinecure. At that time the company was dominate by married women. And they resorted to the school just in time to tidy. Then they rushed into the latrine (there was no time for that at home). And he is on my constipation (in the sense – on the lock). Well, if you let the sufferer in while tidying up, you will be honored and respected, or even a couple of Prima cigarettes as a reward. And the cleaning is simple – I filled everything with water from a hose and everything on the object shines.
Poem About Latrine
They even write poems about the latrine in the navy:
Water quietly murmurs in the latrine –
I like the profession of the bilge …
By the way, you can get a reward for the latrine. There was such a story in the Navy.
Navy Toilet story
What a cruiser of Project 68-bis is is known to every sailor of the Soviet era. Impressive. Especially if by the years of service he is at a standstill. And then the commander-in-chief of the Soviet Navy, Sergei Georgievich Gorshkov (in the fleet he was called Gorshok, including because of his small stature, but at the same time respected), who commanded the Soviet Navy for almost 30 years, came in with a check. As always, “unexpected”. Therefore, in two weeks on the cruiser, everyone began to lick. First of all, of course, latrines. They were battened down, and a temporary hut was built on the wall for the sailors.
Half an hour before the arrival of the distinguish guest on the ship, the latrine was open. Strictly ordering no one to appear there. On pain of 10 days of arrest. It is understandable – in the bow latrine, the commander of the warhead-5, Lieutenant-Commander Vitya Sirotkin, responsible for this tidying object, did not even spare a bottle of “Triple”. So it smelled like a decent brothel.
The pot is to a special passion for checking latrines. So I visited the bow. He entered, took a nose, sniffed, doubted. And he says:
– All clear. Here they scrubbed for two weeks, did not let anyone in …
Sirotkin is confident:
– No, Comrade Admiral of the Fleet of the Soviet Union … We use it every day …
Gorshkov is self-confident:
– You me, friend, do not whistle … Why, I did not serve on ships?
And kick in the booth door. It opens, and … in front of the amazed commander-in-chief … in the pose of an eagle our valiant sailor. I could not bear it, apparently. I violated the instructions.
“Yes,” the commander-in-chief only found something to say. – Indeed. Wonders…
Sirotkin received the captain of the 3rd rank ahead of schedule
Famous Washroom Captions
World Toilet Day Captions
You are the best place where i am singing
My Mini Office
Smart place for doing singing
Most Salient place in the world
No One disturb you
Are you washroom singer